Raveeha Rabbani - Week 16 - Memories = Identity
Recently, I had been pondering: "what truly makes up my identity?" After much thought, I came to the following conclusion: my identity is made up of characteristics of the people around me. It is weird, is it not? When we usually talk about identity we refer to the traits, beliefs, likes and dislikes that are within us, however in reality we actually adopt most of those things from the people we spend the most time with. Our brain automatically starts copying minor behaviors that we observe in others. It is a vicious cycle, meaning that the people we adopt those certain traits from got them from someone else, and that person got them from someone else, if that makes sense. The reason why I am basically equating identity to memories is because I firmly believe that the experiences we have and remember, along with the people we meet in different phases of our lives and what they directly or indirectly teach us, greatly affect our personality in the long-run.
For example, when I was in 6th grade I forgot to write my full name on one of the assignments in my history class and my teacher gave me a zero on the whole assignment, even though the paper was identifiable as it did have my first name. I found this quite odd at the time and I was surely upset. However, as time went on I did notice that ever since that day I never ever forgot to write my name on any paper again. It has been several years now and I still remember that one teacher and how she taught me to always write my full name on official documents, assignments, projects, and etc. as that is the professional thing to do. This honestly may not seem like much or even important at all, but it is an example of how a certain thing can stick to you and become part of your routine and identity through somebody else.
Another example of this is how my grandmother taught my mom to make 'gaajar kaa halwaa,' or in English: carrot pudding, the certain way that her mother taught her. It is a recipe that has been passed down through generations, without cookbooks or notes. It is a recipe that had to be remembered and retained by somebody in order to be passed down to the next generation. Even without any concrete way of noting down the exact recipe (since it is so widespread and everybody has their own way of making it), this recipe has been around for hundreds of years, and that serves as evidence as to how memories are the foundation of identity. Nowadays, this sweet dish is synonymous with winter in South Asia; people love to have this desert in the wintertime and cold days often feel incomplete without it. It has become a part of the identity of people in most South Asian countries.
I hope my rant about memories made sense. The picture is of carrot pudding that I tried at a restaurant a few months ago and as always, it was amazing!
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ReplyDeleteHi Raveeha! I agree with your idea that identity is heavily influenced by memories. People inherit the mannerisms and habits of the people around them, such as small phrases or movements, especially from people they are around everyday, such as family and close friends. One example I can think of from my own life is that I braid my hair the same way my mother does, and she braids it the same way her mother does, even without my mother having to really teach me how to do it. I just picked it up, and I'm sure that there are many other things I've picked up from the people around me in the same way. Some more examples of this are inside jokes between close friends or long held family traditions. I think this idea, that memories and experiences are the foundation of identity, really emphasizes the importance of community, because, after all, humans have always been very social creatures. Cultural facets of a person's identity, such as the culinary aspect that you mentioned, also reinforce this.
ReplyDeleteHi Raveeha! Your blog was interesting to read because I have never really noticed how much of an impact other people have on our identity, but now that you mention it, a lot of the defining traits I consider as “my personality” have often become a part of my personality because of other people. Similarly to your experience about getting a 0 on an assignment after forgetting to write your full name, I still remember getting a 2 out of 5 on a world history assignment in seventh grade after I did not answer the questions in full sentences (I was devastated). At the time I thought I would then fail World History and then never be able to graduate middle school, which was a little over the top, but I still answer all the questions given on assignments in full sentences to this day. I also liked your reference to halwa, which is a dessert I really like as well. My favorite dessert is Rasmalai, a delicious milk sweet that’s perfect on a hot day. Because of this, the only one of my mom’s recipes that I know is her Rasmalai recipe and although I’ve never attempted it myself, I know the sweet is an integral part to my personality and it also reminds me of my childhood. It is surprising how much of an influence other people have on who we are, but at the same time, it also makes sense. Humans are social creatures that have always thrived in groups, so it makes sense that we mimic the actions and behavior of the people who are most important to us. It also makes me wonder what the personality of a person who has never been around other people would be like, although that would probably be an unethical experiment.
ReplyDeleteHello Raveeha!
ReplyDeleteI agree with your statement. I believe that people are just fragments of the people around them, the way people are raised or cared for affects their personality greatly. People with gentle parenting tend to grow up more balanced with their emotions but those with abusive parenting grow up to be either too timid or too bold, since they grew up with too many responsibilities at such a young age. When people are older they pick up on traits their coworkers or friends use since those are the people they are around the most. Such as, I use certain words like "joever" because I picked it up from one of my other friends and I realized that I passed it onto someone around me too. I think us being fragments of the people around us is so important to realize because it can save you from forming bad habits.