Bill Wang - Week 11 - Mr Pen.
There is an enemy. Long, tubular shape, like a venomous serpent with a single eye, glaring into the abyss.
Do you know of the inferior vena cava?
It is the largest vein in your body, sporting a diameter of up to 20 mm. Perfect size. The enemy is just small enough to slither into your mouth, slide down your throat, dig itself into your windpipe, and infiltrate the insides of your veins.
Imagine a foreign object inside of you: sharp and stiff like a toothpick, viscerally scraping its way through you. Through a haze of pain, you watch the enemy force its way down your arm, tearing muscle, piercing cartilage, and drilling bone.
It’s now inside of your wrist. It’s large enough to expand your veins, its walls pushing out as if to escape the horror, like a balloon about to burst, but its hydrodynamic shape allows it to push further and further. You scratch at the protrusion, but your flesh protects it. A fingernail bends backward as you attempt to dig the object out of your skin, but as you continue to frantically jab raw flesh onto raw flesh, your wrist begins to give way. By now, your pants and socks are soaked in a warm, but rapidly cooling, mixture of blood and something darker.
And now you see it. You look into your bloodied wrist, and you see a glint: an eye stares back at you. From the eye bleeds a dark viscous liquid. After all that it has done to you, is it crying in remorse?
Wait. I think I can hear something.
oh.
It’s crying in laughter.
‘cause you wrote your name wrong.
In pen.
Have you, as a junior, as a student in AP Language and Composition, the most rigorous English course you can take in high school, ever felt the shame of crossing your name out like a 1st grader, and then writing it again, slowly?
It is worth mentioning that it is the pen policy in AP Lang that got me in this situation in the first place.
Now while the pen being in my skin has not much to do with anything, I do think it is worth mentioning the pen propaganda that is so gratuitously and unapologetically spread.
Pen propaganda permeates prevalently. Some attribute it to a nice glide. But isn’t smooth writing kinda lame? Don’t you want to hear the sound of nice scratches of graphite on paper, too see the power of friction, and carry on the centuries-old tradition?
Some point to the permanent nature of the ink. Nuh-uh. Ink can be destroyed just as easily as graphite: through water, scraping, and chemicals. It’s not necessarily more binding than pencils.
Some like the dark bold lines of pens. But there are bold and dark pencils, and maybe you should sharpen them, you ollamph.
We need to fight against this evident tyranny and deprive Mr. Pen of his monopoly.
Say “hi” to Mr. Pencil.
(https://www.bartleby.com/learn/free-expert-answers/what-is-the-largest-vein-in-the-body)
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ReplyDeleteHi Bill! I disagree with your views that the pen has a monopoly and that pen propaganda exists, and also with some of the evidence you bring up. You bring up the point that pens are not erasable with your example of "crossing out your name like a 1st grader," but this isn't necessarily true — whiteout is to pen what erasers are to pencils. You also bring up the point that writing in pencil is a "centuries-old tradition," but this is not necessarily true either. The widespread use of ink predates the widespread use and mass production of graphite pencils, as writing inks date back to about 2500 BC, used in ancient Egypt and China, and the graphite pencil dates back to about 1662. I would also like to bring to attention that two of your points are contradictory; you complain about the permanence of pen when you mention "crossing out your name like a 1st grader" yet you denounce the permanence of ink when you explain how it "can be destroyed just as easily as graphite," and is "not necessarily more binding than pencils." Aside from the errors in your argument, I personally like using pens more than pencils for multiple reasons. For one, if you write in pen, you can do all your schoolwork in sparkly, vibrant colors, which can motivate you to get started rather than procrastinate. Additionally, calligraphy and cursive look much better written in pen. Overall, if you do care about "centuries-old tradition" as you claim, I think you'd favor pens over pencils.
ReplyDeleteHello Bill. Let me begin my comment by saying this: everything that you just said in this blog is wrong. Incorrect. False. I'm appalled that you even felt the need to make such bold and untruthful claims. First of all, pens and pencils are built to be around the same size as to fit nicely and compatibly with the user's hand. Because of this, the damage a pen could POTENTIALLY do to the largest vein in the human body will be matched, if not trumped, by the damage caused by a pencil. I say the damage from a pencil would probably be worse because it would cause led poisoning, a dangerous risk unassociated with the extremely user-friendly pen. Additionally, pens are significantly more durable. How often do you see a chewed-up pen lying on the floor? Pens write more smoothly than even the highest quality pencil could ever dream of. Saying that crossing out mistakes on an AP Lang paper because of the permanent ink brings "shame" could not be further from the truth. When I cross out "adlut" because I meant to write "adult," I feel pride. I feel a sense of self-worth. I can wake up in the morning and look in the mirror confidently, knowing that I am a proud pen user in a rightfully pen-driven society. I hope you will reconsider your standpoint on this extremely controversial issue.
ReplyDeleteHello Bill, although I agree with your statement to cease the use of pens since i find myself scratching out lines of words since i misplaced one sentence. I find myself forgiving the unforgiving pen whenever my paper came out clean and crisp, no errors or only minor ones. I feel so much more professional and that adds confidence into my writing. I have a love hate relationship with Mr. Pen, he is my guy when I'm feeling my best but also my greatest enemy when I make one error. He sees all the flaws I have and does not let me live it out, permanently scarring my paper with my mistakes. Since I love the feeling he gives me sometimes, like I'm the best writer ever, therefore I will continue my relationship with Mr. Pen.
ReplyDeleteHi Bill,
ReplyDeleteYour blog post took me on a wild journey from the ominous description of the "enemy" resembling a venomous serpent to the unexpected twist involving a pen. The vivid imagery you used to describe the invasion of this foreign object into the body was truly chilling and visceral. I could almost feel the discomfort and panic like I was the one struggling with the intrusion. Your incorporation of personal experience, especially as a junior in AP Language and Composition, adds depth and relatability to the narrative. The embarrassment of making a mistake like crossing out your name and rewriting it resonates with anyone who has experienced similar moments of humiliation, no matter their age or academic level. I, for one, as a student in the AP Language and Composition class, can shamefully say that I have crossed out my name after misspelling it in pen. Moreover, your commentary on the pen versus pencil debate is both amusing and thought-provoking. The idea of "pen propaganda" and the call to adopt the tradition of using pencils over the perceived reign of “Mr. Pen” is a clever and amusing analogy that invites readers to consider the deeper implications of their writing instruments, something one rarely does. Overall, your blog upholds your creative writing style as it is engaging and entertaining while also addressing underlying themes of conformity, tradition, and resistance.